In our current culture, unity is something constantly called for and perpetually missing. We all desire peace, both in the church and in our larger communities, but it often seems that unity is a state which is impossible to reach. If we do manage to reach it, it usually involves some sort of compromise, leaving one, if not both parties dissatisfied.
The fact is, unity is something we should desire, and it is something God calls us to.
Psalm 133
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! 2 It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! 3 It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.
When we come to unity with our fellow believers, it is good and pleasant in the sight of God. He will command His blessing upon those who seek unity in Him! That certainly sounds like something we would want to seek out, but the reality is we rarely experience it. How do we get past all our disagreements and differences to come into unity with one another? Let’s talk about it…
A three-strand cord…
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes tells us that two are better than one. When we work together, we are stronger than we would be alone. Accordingly, we must change our focus regarding our spouses and our friends. Rather than seeking our own desires and our own solutions to our disagreements, our perspective ought to be to help one another abide in Christ. When we assist each other in seeking Christ, we support one another in finding restoration and healing. We are to be one another’s best cheerleaders. This mindset shift causes us to start thinking about the bigger picture instead of remaining caught up in seeking our own desires.
But Ecclesiastes also talks about a threefold cord. Who is the third cord?
The third cord is actually God. What does this mean? This means that our unity is not simply agreement with one another, but also agreement with God. This threefold cord, which includes unity with both our brothers and sisters in Christ, and with God Himself, will not be easily broken.
How do we enter into unity with God?
Ephesians 4:1-6
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.’
Ephesians reminds us that there is one Spirit. This means that the Spirit will not tell you something different than He is telling your spouse or your friend. If you are in disagreement, it means one of three things.
- You are not hearing the will of God and you need to allow Him to change your heart.
- Your spouse/friend is not hearing God’s will correctly, and needs to allow God to change his/her heart.
- Neither of you is hearing God’s will correctly, and you need to seek more information before making a decision.
When you are seeking God’s will together, then, your role is not to negotiate settlements and compromise in order to find agreement in the flesh. Rather, you are to both come to unity in the Spirit, seeking His will and remaining open to a change of direction. The most amazing part of this process is that, through seeking God’s will, you can reach unity 100% of the time! God has promised us that He will reveal His will if we process with Him.
Embrace disagreement.
Since our goal is to discover the will of God through this process, disagreement actually becomes a good thing. When we disagree with one another, not caving to one another but remaining open to God’s will being different than ours, we open ourselves up to discovering His truth in each situation and experiencing beautiful unity with one another. We are to embrace and honor disagreement, knowing that when we are willing to seek God through it, we will end up encountering His incredible solutions to our issues.
Philippians 2:1-6
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped…
As you seek unity with your spouse and your inner circle, it is important to honor the other person and approach your disagreements in humility. Just as you are not to cave to the other person’s wishes, you should likewise desire that they not cave to yours. As we honor one another, we seek to maintain one another’s integrity and interest, encouraging one another to keep seeking Christ until He reveals His will. The key to this is remaining in forgiveness with one another and maintaining a ‘neutral’ heart. When we speak of neutrality in this situation, we mean remaining open to hearing God’s will, holding your own will loosely and being willing to let it go for the greater reward, which is found in God’s will.
Through this process and with this heart, you work with one another through your disagreement to seek God’s will with honor and respect. God will reveal His will to you both as you continue to process with Him and remain in forgiveness with one another.
If you would like to dive deeper into the concept of unity, check out our course Abiding in the Vine. We’d love to share more with you! As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to us (https://abideministries.com/contact-us/). We’re always here to help!
