In last week’s post, we discussed the concept of spiritual unity and how it profoundly affects our relationships with God and others. Now, let’s dig into some practical ways we can seek unity with our spouses and our fellow believers:
Biblical example: Paul vs. the Christians from Judea
Let’s start out with a wonderful example of seeking unity from the Bible:
Acts 15:1-6
1 But some men came down from Judea and were teaching the brothers, “Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.” 2 And after Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and debate with them, Paul and Barnabas and some of the others were appointed to go up to Jerusalem to the apostles and the elders about this question. 3 So, being sent on their way by the church, they passed through both Phoenicia and Samaria, describing in detail the conversion of the Gentiles, and brought great joy to all the brothers. 4 When they came to Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church and the apostles and the elders, and they declared all that God had done with them. 5 But some believers who belonged to the party of the Pharisees rose up and said, “It is necessary to circumcise them and to order them to keep the law of Moses.”
6 The apostles and the elders were gathered together to consider this matter.
In these verses, Paul has a disagreement with a group of Judean Christians who believed that new disciples must be circumcised in order to be considered saved. At the time, this was actually an extremely important issue. To the Jews, circumcision was a sign of the Covenant. Paul, however, was preaching that a relationship with Christ was all that was required for salvation. This was no small matter. And yet, these two parties were able to continue on amicably and find a solution together. How? Let’s dig in…
The first thing they did was to come together to consider the matter with one another and seek God’s will. They did not determine the answer for themselves. There was no argument over who was right or wrong, or disregard of the other party’s position. Instead, they sat together and sought God’s heart in the matter. They knew that this approach would lead them to God’s will, which was their ultimate desire.
Once they realized that they weren’t going to find agreement on this issue, they decided to head to Jerusalem and seek the counsel of the apostles and elders. A key thing to note is that while they walked together to Jerusalem, they did not stop enjoying life. They did not let this disagreement ruin their day, or even their relationships with one another. Instead, they were experiencing joy from hearing each others’ God stories! How could this be so? They knew in their hearts that they would find resolution together in Christ and they were willing and open to wait for Him to reveal His will.
Helpful method for seeking unity.
You may be thinking, “This sounds great, but how do I apply these principles practically?” Ultimately, your job as you approach disagreements you have with other Christians is to seek the will of God, not compromising your position, but remaining open to whatever it is that God desires for you and staying in forgiveness with your spouse/friend. If you maintain this heart position, and your spouse/friend does as well, God will lead you into unity with Him and with each other.
We recommend the following process for starting out your journey toward unity:
- Begin processing through your issue. Remember to talk through one issue at a time. Ask one another: “What do you think, feel, and believe about this?” Once one person has finished sharing, the other should repeat back what they heard.
- One one person has shared their experiences and the other has repeated what the first person says, the first person then has the opportunity to correct them in any area where they may have misunderstood. If the second person didn’t fully understand, you should both go back and repeat the process until you have it all.
- Based upon what you have understood together, offer a solution to the decision or issue. Explain why. Then let the other respond with agreement or a different perspective on the answer.
- Keep at this process as long as you need to until you reach unity or realize with integrity and forgiveness that you still disagree. If you still disagree, recognize that it simply means you do not know God’s will yet and that you need to continue seeking Him. Keep asking for wisdom (James 1:5–8). Do not argue or debate, but instead allow it to sit and not ruin your afternoon.
The importance of wise counselors.
Proverbs 11:14
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
When Paul and the Judean Christians came to the conclusion that they could not agree, their next step was to seek the counsel of the apostles and elders in Jerusalem. This is an important model for us, as believers. In your discussions on your issue, if you come to a place where you are feeling stuck or believe you need new information, do not be afraid to bring in outside advisors who can help you in the process of seeking God’s will. As you do this, however, remember that these advisors are not to tell you what to do. Rather, they are to assist you in reaching unity with God and with receiving and confirming His will.
There are two basic types of advisors you may need in your situation. Firstly, you can seek the counsel of godly advisors. These are advisors who are willing to walk with you spiritually and seek God’s answers with you. They can confirm His will, as they too can find unity in the Spirit with Him. They will ask you good questions, seek God’s word, and help you process in prayer. The other type of advisor you could bring in is a technical advisor. These are advisors who are proficient in their field and can bring you expert advice on a particular subject. They must be completely impartial to your particular situation and have no vested interest in the outcome. For example, a professional who will make money off of you if you choose a particular path is not a good technical advisor. A good technical advisor knows the field of interest thoroughly, but has no particular interest in the outcome. These advisors can provide new information on a technical problem you may have, bringing you clarity on what the facts are in your situation.
Unity is such an important aspect of our relationships with one another as we seek to grow together in Christ. If you put these principles into action and seek God’s will with your whole heart, you will be amazed by how your relationships change! God promises to reveal His will to us, and when we seek Him together we can receive confirmation that we are on the right path. If you want to learn more about unity, check out our online course: Abiding in the Vine. And, as always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to us here. We’re here to assist you on your abiding journey!
